Money

I am being besieged with people calling about their bills. It seems to to me that in each of these cases they came to me in some kind of legal mess, talked to me at length signed a contract to pay for legal services and my hourly rate was fully disclosed as was the fact we bill a minimum of 12 minutes per billing entry, and then on six minute increments thereafter. And I normally "No Charge" for short phone calls, emails etc.

I seldom hear any complaints early on. It is when there is a huge bill that they have not been paying on, or after the case is done that the complaints start coming in. I understand that that people think it is unfair that I make such huge amounts of money, but the truth is I don't make that full amount.

Lets say I charge $200 per hour (I don't). People, when they bitch about the bill, always say something to the effect "well I don't make $200 an hour like you do". I normally reply that I don't either. I have to pay for the building, all the secretaries, receptionist, bookkeeper and all of the associate attorneys, as well as the light bill, photocopier, paper and pens. I even pay for the candy they are eating out of the basket. That coke they are drinking during our meeting. Yep I pay for that too. And just for good measure each partner gets a cut as well.
If I am feeling nasty I point out even if I didn't have to pay for all of that, the only way I truly would make $200 an hour is if all of my clients actually paid me in full and on time. That normally shuts up THAT type of complaint.

I hate collecting my money I am owed. This is the part they don't tell you about in law school and never show on T.V.