Monday, January 7, 2008

I could not make this up

get asked a lot - here, on my other blog and in person -Cigar, how do you make this stuff up. The simple fact is i couldn't make this shit up if I tried. I will say i am pretty smart and funny (if you like sarcasim) but I am not very creative as far sa humor goes (legal strategy I amaze myself sometimes)

This is an actual body of an email from my secretary sent. names have been changed to protect the stupid.

Dipshit called and she tested positive for amphetamine and marijuana. She explained the marijuana in her system 1st that she was inhaling it because she was in the room with him and he smoked daily. Then she said she used it about 2 months ago and it must just still be in her system (yeah, right). She explained the amphetamine in her system as diet pills.

I told her I would give you the information but it may be Thursday before you could call her back because of your court schedule. She wants an apt with you and she wants to schedule a more in depth drug test to prove she hasn't used marijuana or inhaled it since leaving her husband.

Hilda has already called wanting the results, and Dora told her we would have to speak withyou before we could fax her anything.

The faxed results came through from Justice Network and she is not only positive for those two, but also for Benzodiazepines and she was caught with a condom trying to alter her urine specimen. Funny thing is they tested the first urine and it came up positive too (she could of at least got someone who was clean to help her cheat). Then they made her take another and these are the results from it.



This woman took dirty piss to a drug test? now this is an example of rocket science and not something i would have thought to make up. I LOVE my ob.

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